As We All Knew: Scrabble Destroys Relationships

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/jilted_hasbro_ceo_laughs_coldly_as

"Ha! Foolish Ron [Jeffers] and Karen [Dreyer]! You really thought your so-called 'courtship' could withstand the divisive power of the almighty Scrabble?" shouted Hassenfeld, who is said to personally inspect each game board to ensure that it contains the correct maddening distribution of vowels, consonants, and blank tiles. "Your fate was sealed, fair Karen, the moment you reached out to gently place the letters A-X-I-O-M down for a triple-word score!"

Added Hassenfeld, "Die, die, fledgling romance! Crumble like so many ashes!"

Sources said that since the vengeful, lovelorn Hassenfeld first began marketing Scrabble under the Hasbro brand, roughly 1,447,055 romantic couplings have been destroyed by the game's devastating ability to turn otherwise felicitous partners into fierce, seething rivals.


Hat Tip: Annie Wilson